Yes. I'm afraid that it might be official that Thomas has a girlfriend. This is none of my doing at all.
Monday we were walking into the JCYC (his daycare) and the grass was full of dandelions. He was grunting and pointing, and I said, "Thomas, do you want a flower? Do you want to pick a flower?" "yes." His yesses are very clear. So we picked a flower. We kept walking towards the door and I said, "Do you want to give the flower to Miss Stacie?" He thought for a minute and said, "No." Then he thought again for another couple seconds and said, "Aub-ee?" as a question, like, "Can I give the flower to Aubrey?" Aubrey is the only girl in his "class" and he talks about her all the time. Aubee Aubee Aubee! He talks about the other kids too, but not as much. And holy crap. He wanted to give her a flower.
I thought it was about the cutest thing he's ever said/done.
I love it when his little personality comes shining through, despite the fact he can't get out full sentences. :) I love this kid. Good grief, I am so glad he's in my life.
My last post was a little bit harsh, I think. I was just really really pissed off at that moment. It's a stupid situation that does nothing but upset me, so it's time to just let it go for now. I think that's the best solution.
Right now I am procrastinating from studying for my second to last final. w00t! Oh, and writing a 7 page paper I totally forgot that I had to write. whoops! I have another 2 pager to write tonight after my final. Oh boy.
As a friend of mine said last night, I have already checked out of Saint Joe for the semester. It's hard to write this stuff when I feel so apathetic about it. Oh well. I have four pages done in my seven page paper and I have until 4 my time to study for the final I have today. I'll get through it!
I need to do a Thomas update pretty soon. Actually...
Yeah. It's been months since I updated, and now you're getting two in one day! Crazy, eh?
This one shouldn't be as long, and it will definitely be less crabby.
It is to report two great things about my sweet boy.
First, he has an AWFUL diaper rash--I mean, really really bad. Raw, and beet red. He's been airing out a lot today, so it's getting better. I also had a chat with him about the fact that he needs to _tell_ me when he is poopy because poopy makes his bottom hurt more. (Okay, it just changed to three things) So, he came up to me this morning, and he looked at me with a funny look, and then he turned red and just stared at me. I asked him if something was wrong, and he said "Poopy". So, not only did he understand the fact that he WAS poopy, he came to me BEFORE he even pooped! I know that this won't seem too exciting to most people, but holy crap! (no pun intended) I am amazed at how quickly he's growing up...
Second, he has a teddy bear (that was my teddy bear) with a pacifier that can go in its mouth or is just connected to its paw. He thinks it's so funny that a teddy bear has a paci. Either way, he brought it to me and said, "Pa-pees"...he wanted me to put the pacifier in the bear's mouth (it's really hard to get in there, even for me). So I did, and then he took it back and brought the bear to his cheek. I said, "Awww, what a nice boy, giving your bear snuggles." Then he said doggy (well, "da-daw") and rushed over to the wolf he got for Cristmas (that is pretty much as big as he is--but he loves it), and fell to the ground, laying on it...And he proceeded to just lay there, snuggling with the two stuffed animals for at least a minute. He never does things like that, and it was precious.
The third, that he just did...I had put a book into his "seat" (he has a little chair that was my Great Grandma Susie's--she's who I am named after). He picked it up, sat down in his seat very properly, sat up straight, and then began to "read" his book. Don't ask why, but this struck me as really really cute.
I'll update more on him later. Soooo many new things that it's hard to keep track. And I'm so busy it's hard to find the time to sit down here and catalogue all of it!!
As I stated in my previous blog about Thomas, I had to stop nursing him. This is causing so many problems that it's driving me a little crazy.
First of all, there's the emotional aspect of it: I no longer have that attachment to him--he no longer comes to me and asks for a 'boppy', nor does he cry when he sees the actual boppy pillow and doesn't get nursed. He goes back to sleep by himself in the middle of the night. He goes to sleep at night without nursing. And I have absolutely nothing special that differentiates me from his Daddy any longer.
So many people have told me, "You're his mom! Mom is always number one," but it's hard to see that right now. I'm not used to Thomas being so attached to Daddy, and not as much to me. I miss him. I miss the physical and emotional bond that breast feeding created between us.
It has been especially hard in the last couple of days because he has been sick and not wanting to eat. Before, when he was sick, the only thing he could keep down was breast milk. Now? I have to substitute water &/or juice. :( It's just hard to watch him growing up as quickly as he is. It scares me to think that soon he won't even be a baby or a toddler anymore. I don't know what I will do when he's a little boy...He's my baby. :(
Another problem that this new cessation has caused: My boobs SHRUNK. I know that they say that this will happen after you stop nursing, but holy crap. Really? This much? Damnit, my stomach sticks out as far as my boobs now, and I look like absolute crap in everything I put on. And this is ESPECIALLY bad because, I thought I looked like crap before! Now? I feel disgusting. I have been teaching a lot lately, and I have to wear very tight-fitting clothing so the kids can see what I expect their bodies to look like--no no--what I expect their bodies to MOVE like. And it's AWFUL to see myself in the studio mirrors.
I'm desperately trying to come up with a way to be able to get some kind of aerobic exercise in, but I hate running with a firey passion, and we can't afford to buy groceries right now, let alone a gym membership.
WHY IS LIFE SO COMPLICATED AND FRUSTRATING???? (and, yes, wonderful most of the time.)
