| | As I stated in my previous blog about Thomas, I had to stop nursing him. This is causing so many problems that it's driving me a little crazy.
First of all, there's the emotional aspect of it: I no longer have that attachment to him--he no longer comes to me and asks for a 'boppy', nor does he cry when he sees the actual boppy pillow and doesn't get nursed. He goes back to sleep by himself in the middle of the night. He goes to sleep at night without nursing. And I have absolutely nothing special that differentiates me from his Daddy any longer.
So many people have told me, "You're his mom! Mom is always number one," but it's hard to see that right now. I'm not used to Thomas being so attached to Daddy, and not as much to me. I miss him. I miss the physical and emotional bond that breast feeding created between us.
It has been especially hard in the last couple of days because he has been sick and not wanting to eat. Before, when he was sick, the only thing he could keep down was breast milk. Now? I have to substitute water &/or juice. :( It's just hard to watch him growing up as quickly as he is. It scares me to think that soon he won't even be a baby or a toddler anymore. I don't know what I will do when he's a little boy...He's my baby. :(
Another problem that this new cessation has caused: My boobs SHRUNK. I know that they say that this will happen after you stop nursing, but holy crap. Really? This much? Damnit, my stomach sticks out as far as my boobs now, and I look like absolute crap in everything I put on. And this is ESPECIALLY bad because, I thought I looked like crap before! Now? I feel disgusting. I have been teaching a lot lately, and I have to wear very tight-fitting clothing so the kids can see what I expect their bodies to look like--no no--what I expect their bodies to MOVE like. And it's AWFUL to see myself in the studio mirrors.
I'm desperately trying to come up with a way to be able to get some kind of aerobic exercise in, but I hate running with a firey passion, and we can't afford to buy groceries right now, let alone a gym membership.
WHY IS LIFE SO COMPLICATED AND FRUSTRATING????
(and, yes, wonderful most of the time.) |
| | Posted 2/24/2009 10:28 PM - 19 Views - 2 eProps - 1 Comment
- recommend
  - recs0
- share
- email
 - sent0
|
